TEACHERS PROTEST AT HAVING TO TEACH CHILDREN TO READ
by Our Education Staff Michael Whiteboard
BRITAIN's top teaching union, NOTREAD (the National organisation of Teaching Representatives, Educationalists and Deputies) last night voted unanimously to go on strike against government plans to teach pupils to read and write before they leave school at 16.
Said union leader Phil Literate, "It is an outrage and a total attack on the professionalism of teachers everywhere to suggest that they are in some way failing because so many children finish their education without the totally obsolete and outmoded so-called skill of being able to read."
The Phonic War
The Department of Education denied that they were trying to undermine teachers.
Said the Secretary of State, Michael Gove, "All we are trying to do is bringing in a test for 5 year olds in which they have to show they are capable of reading a passage from the Guardian in which all the letters are jumbled up so that word recognition alone can enable them to decipher the meaning of what Mr Rusbridger has been writing."
Private Eye, No 1312, 20 April - 3 May 2012